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Just a fluffy girl working towards becoming a little less fluffy.

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Fluffy, Not Fat

I’ve always had a problem with the term “fat.” I didn’t like it as a kid, and I don’t like it now.

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I mean…do you even know what fat is? What it looks like? We ALL have fat in our bodies, but having it and looking like it are two different things. Fat looks like yellowy gloop. I don’t look like yellow gloop. We all have mucus in our bodies too, but when you see another human do you say “You’re so mucus”? Probably not. It’s like that episode of Friends where Phoebe says to Ross “Say we are unagi!” and Ross is like “It’s not something you ARE it’s something you HAVE!” Ross gets me.

I wasn’t teased a ton (no pun intended) about my weight when I was a kid, but the occasional fuck face would have something to say. And of course, the word fat was often used by that same fuck face. It would make me sad, but the kids who were saying it were hella lame so I was just like “My life is and will always be better than yours, foo. So keep talking if that’s what’s gonna bring you joy in this moment,” or something like that.

You know what else I hate? When people (usually them thinner folks) eat a lot of food or take two bites out of something unhealthy, they say stupid shit like “Oh my god I’m such a fatty”. What. Does. That. Mean??? Because you went back for seconds, all of a sudden you gained 50lbs? Because you ate a piece of cheesecake AND had a milkshake, you no longer fit into any of your clothes? Are you stupid?

This way of thinking leads to low self-esteem and sometimes eating disorders. And I’m not just talking about the effects it has on you. You saying dumb shit like this out loud makes other people feel bad for about THEIR eating habits and THEIR body type. In addition to regular old stupid-ohs, I even hear fitness instructors, personal trainers, and yes, dieticians talking like this. Why? Why? WHY?

Imma stop right now because I can bitch about this for hours.

Anyway, when I was deciding how I was going to reference my weight or describe my body type throughout my journey to 200lbs, I struggled with what adjectives I wanted to use. There are plenty of models, bloggers, and influencers in my size range who openly and happily refer to themselves as fat. “How to Shop when you’re a Fat girl”. “Problems Every Fat Girl Faces when Dating a Skinny Guy”.  I get it. They’re trying to take an “ugly” term and give it a new meaning, but I still don’t like it.

Needless to say, fat was obviously an adjective I wasn’t planning on using for myself.

I often describe myself as curvy, which I like. But not all curvaceous women are overweight, so it still doesn’t feel quite right.

I dabbled with the word chubby, and I kind of like it. It just sounds so cute. I have chubby cheeks, a chubby booty – chubby everything. But then I figured chubby wasn’t accurate either. There’s a difference between chubby and overweight so once again, chubby doesn’t fit the bill.

Plus size just sounds lame and boring, and it sounds like I’m referring to clothes rather than my body. Chunky is not funky. Plump don’t make no sense. And big boned just sounds dumb.

So after all that humming and hawing, I decided to go with fluffy. Sure it’s not super accurate either, and it's also kinda dumb, and I'm still probably going to say curvy most of the time, but I like fluffy. It’s fun, cute, and hasn’t been overused…yet.

Emotional Eating

Emotional Eating

Journey to 200

Journey to 200